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“I absolutely, positively, LOVED IT!!!.” — Nina Bangs (USA Today Best Selling Author of Night Bites) |
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If you look very carefully through the window, you can see the author typing away on the next installment of Revenge-Gifts.com |
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Welcome to Revenge Gifts |
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Welcome to Revenge Gifts and Happy Holidays! The holiday season is traditionally busy for Revenge-Gifts.com. My year round gifts, the allergy pillows, seasonal urns, metallic boxers and other products are designed with long term effects in mind. For Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza and whatever other pagan holiday my sick and twisted patrons may participate in (which all seem to require gifts) I break out the short-attention-span, land-fill-destined, one-shot-deal gifts. These are gifts that express how the giver truly feels about the giving season of bad lawn ornaments, annoying twinkle lights and family gatherings spawned in hell. If a gift is obligatory, allow me to assist in expressing your level of disdain for the recipient. It’s what I do best. Though in a moment of weakness I broke out the Thousand Year Old Fruitcake out of season for the wedding reception of some poor, doomed couple in Silicon Valley, the rest of you can start ordering this Holiday Classic on October fifteenth. Thanks for all the emails threatening lawsuits over food poisoning last year, in your hearts you know it was your Aunt Jayne’s turkey surprise, so STFU. This year when you order a fruitcake, give it as a gift instead of eating it all yourself. You’re ruining my reputation by keeping it for personal consumption. This year’s seasonal gifts come with the usual bad karma, no return policy. Complaints are completely wasted on me but you are welcome to try. — Tara Cole. |
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